Thinking about Cadaver Class

For some odd reason, the further we get into our gross anatomy course the worse it gets for me. I think I am one of a few that do not enjoy dissecting human bodies.  It is disturbing.  I try very hard to think of it logically and focus on the day's work but I have found myself fighting to keep my cool during class.  

I wonder about the man we have been working on for nearly a year now.  What was he like?  Did he have children?  Married?  Happy?  Things like this crowd my mind when the scalpels come out.  I try to joke around with my lab group but I am certain they know I struggle in this course. It is pretty obvious - mainly because I publicly state this on my blog.  Go figure.  They are very kind and understanding... I think.  :)

We found a long suture along the inter-abdominal wall on Thursday.  Although, there were no signs of an incision on his abdominal skin.  The sutures were in his superficial fatty layer and traveled from his diaphragm to his umbilicus.  When we opened him up we found it to be quite disturbing.  His innards were green!  I think his gallbladder must have exploded during the embalming procedure and leaked bile throughout the cavity.  My dear colleague John Ng did the honors of opening up the cavity after I refused to do it.  I know, I owe him big time!  I intend on making it up to him by removing the liver perhaps.  The experience left me a bit drained this week.  To reach into a dead mans abdominal cavity with your hands and palpate his tissues is an experience of a lifetime.  I wish it was a bit more fun, that way I wouldn't stay up late writing in my blog about it all. 

Our cadaver has had several surgeries.  He has had an inguinal hernia repair, a knee replacement, a piece of bone tacked back onto his head with metal plates, he is missing both ring fingers, and as mentioned previously, we just found suture remnants in his belly.  To think about the amount of time he spent in hospitals is beyond my current ability.  There must have been days that were quite painful and miserable.  I am sure there were plenty of happy ones too.  It is fascinating to wonder about a person I have come to know so well.  His body reveals so much history - it is like a timeline of health.  We know for sure he died of cancer.  The type of cancer is still in question though.  My gut says something remains to be uncovered within the abdominal cavity.  The sutures we recently found have me thinking he had colon cancer.  It is just a hunch though.  We will soon find out and I will share it all with you.

Not many people are willing to share their struggles through an experience like this.  Many of the medically based blogs focus on the daily doings versus the thoughts that appear during the day.  To be cognisant of it all and to put it all into words is challenging.  I wonder if I offend others with my writings - if the words I send out there cause any affect.  It is not my intention to be holier than thou or too opinionated.  I do want to share this experience as well as I can and by sharing all that happens, good or bad, happy or sad, exciting or dull, the blog will uncover what it is truly like to take this path in life.  That being said, I plan to become more fluent with writing weekly.  

To end, I just want to say thanks for reading and have a good weekend.