Nerves

Here we go again. Finals start tomorrow morning approximately 6 hours from now and I am still awake. For some odd reason my mind wouldn't shut off tonight even though I pumped myself full of melatonin and relaxed for several hours. I think this week will be tough and I question whether I have done enough to be prepared for the intense week of exams.

Last week I was able to get most of the adjustments down for the cervicals and extremities, so a review before the exam will suffice. The neuromuscular diagnosis course will be challenging in lab. Tying together concepts is very hard particularly when neurological and orthopedic tests converge. Keeping it straight will be the first step, verbalizing it the second and performing it, the third.

It is weird to go through a program as intense as this one. At times, I am completely relaxed and calm and the next, my nerves begin to fire and keep me up late. The triggers are hard to detect in regards to controlling such visceral reactions. I have pinpointed some of them and mostly they consist of fears of failure and a lack of adequate preparation to feel comfortable being tested. When I am ready, I tend to sleep well and nothing worries me. Those days are long gone and for the next 7 days I will fight to keep things balanced.

On another note, I think my board preparation is on par. I studied all weekend as planned a few weeks back. I tried really hard to get ahead with our regular classes last week so that this weekend could be devoted to board preparation. In retrospect, I think forming a plan such as this was very important but there is always a little thought on my shoulder that wonders if my preparation will match the demand of the board exams. Sometimes, as my friend Andy says, you just have to do it live.

Rolling with the punches is tough when you have a lot invested into something. You want to do well and succeed. It really comes down to looking back to what you've accomplished to this present day. Nothing compares to the anxiety I felt in anatomy lab. The finals, boards and practicals will be a walk in the park compared to the gruesome nature of those long 30 weeks in that lab. I wonder what the new students are going through, whether they too are trying to keep it together and adapt.

Dr. Gillette, our neurophysiology teacher told us one time that the human brain needs 6 hours of sleep prior to a big exam. I better get to bed so my glial cells have time to restore their glycogen.

All my best